I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
