i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
do herpes really smell.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
