Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i just google imaged poop.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
