Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
