Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
