i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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