Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
