My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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