Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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