i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
