so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
