Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Nicole vs. Life
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
