On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
