If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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