i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
