She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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