i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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