margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
