i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
