hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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