I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
