we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
