Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
