Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
