Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
