I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
