whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
