You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
