btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
