That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
