then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
