chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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