Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
