I'm going to jail i love you
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
