My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
