Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
