I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
