from now on my penis is your penis
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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