I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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