I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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