I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
