super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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