whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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