It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Boobs speak an international language.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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