when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Randomize
