If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
