She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
