I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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