so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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