been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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