I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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